Progress and thoughts on sustainability

So far 2021 has been gong very well in regards to my health. I am currently at -34lbs and I am noticing a dramatic difference. This go around I feel like I am making better progress in regards to every aspect of this process. My meal plans have left me more full, with more energy and less cravings. Just like before my activity level has gone up dramatically. I have gone from walking around the block, to walking blocks, to walking several km and up steep hills. My back has gone from pain, to discomfort to hardly noticing it, to being free of all pain. It has all been going as good as I could have hoped.

The reasons for this could be many and likely a combination of them all. The added resistance training, muscle mass, larger meals, more proteins and healthy fats in my diet. I think with each attempt at this, I have gotten better. As frustrating as it is to redo progress, it seems to be being done better and more efficiently each time I have try.

Sustainability going forward

All this great progress has however given me an ominous thought that has been nagging at me. If I manage to succeed at this, if this is the attempt that works. How then would I prevent myself from falling back into an unhealthy life? I am not sure the answer, but I do have some thoughts on it.

Looking at addiction

For one I feel this whole process is akin to any other addiction. Drinking, smoking, drugs, all things I do not partake in but have seen around me in my life. I have seen smokers quit over and over, much as I have with my eating habits, only to witness them relapse in much the same way. It often happens like this. They start by smoking at first a single cigarette, then several a day. Then a vehement suggestion that those several a day are a change for the better and will only stay as that. Which they never ever maintain and always go back to smoking as much if not more then they did before. It all feels familiar with my eating, going cold turkey, only to slip more and more. each 10lbs I gained back telling myself it is not so bad. I tell myself I am better then I was. But in the end I eventually end up back to where I started or worse.

I have however witness a smoker who did all that and who smoked for 50 years actually quit, and more importantly, never smoke again. They even find smoking repulsive now. This new view they have is interesting as it means their entire mindset has changed around smoking. They no longer view it as something they are missing out on and instead something they can’t believe they did. In the end they did succeed, after years of failing, and so I figure, it is possible for me as well.

I believe I will need to view this process as an initial step not a solution. If I lose the weight I want, if this actually works it will be the first step in a lifetime of vigilance. It could be I may just not be able to enjoy eating the same as other do. Just as a recovered alcoholic can not enjoy a few beers on the weekend with those for whom it is nothing more than a joy, not a danger.

I once did view food very differently back in my early 20s. I viewed it as fuel, as energy and building blocks to bigger muscles and a functional machine in which I reside. What I find interesting is I always look after my machines with such care, having my truck serviced regularly, even my watch. Why the most important machine in my life my own body I no longer look after in the same way is strange. But I did at one time look after it with the same care and appreciation if not more so. When I think back to that time I really didn’t miss food that much.  Now I weigh the idea that I may never eat some of my favourite foods again with how much more rich my life was fit and healthy I don’t know why it wouldn’t be an obvious and clear choice.

Investing in anything has some risk, it is why there is a reward. That includes investing in yourself and for me there is certainly a risk I will fail or even succeed only to lose it all again. But the reward is so great, I can’t not try again and again and make that investment of time and energy. I don’t think on my deathbed whenever that may be I will reflect about the great foods I missed eating in my life. But I will certainly be disappointed to have missed aspects of that life held back by my weight. I will also certainly be fond of a life better lived healthy tomorrow today.